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Saturday, March 9, 2013

Walking Underwater


When I was a little girl I was so skinny I could literally walk from the shallow end of a swimming pool to the bottom of the deep end without floating.  Back then it was great entertainment to move around the pool without bobbing to the surface.  I used to stand at the bottom for as long as I could before shooting up to catch a breath.
Lately, I feel as though I am walking through deep water.  Every effort to get through a day is weighted down by the heaviness of my husband’s struggle with porn addiction.  I am moving, though… each day accomplishing what needs to get done. But everything I do feels not only as though I do it in slow motion, and with great effort, but as if submerged and moving through water.  My mind is getting fuddled, too.  So not like me…
Every once in awhile I remember to “breathe” and I come to the surface, where my Heavenly Father waits with His sustaining breath, His Holy Spirit breathing life back into me.  I know He wants me to stay up where there is life, but inevitably I sink back down.

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